1. |
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Drowning in a sea, of band t-shirts and pity
Just stewing in my head, trying work out how I could have spent
The past 6 months so I wouldn’t be glued to this chair
My skins cells fuse from days on end
staring at this fucking screen
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2. |
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Surrounded by 90’s sportswear fashion
To the point where I’m wondering if the door to this apartment
Is a time machine, hence all the eyes glued to me
But it’s all just in my head
So I fake buzz from my pocket
Press phone to ear but then begins to ring proper
(ah shit)
call from my friend asking when my heart break will end
My best guess suggests that the sadness has already left
But I still cling to the final few remnants
“defies all logic” note the panel of experts
So I fake loss of signal
“Yeh I think we’re breaking up, I can hardly hear you”
A tired cliche but I say it all the same
And I’m scared that i’ve lost it, take my feelings hostage
Negotiate demands through long winded postage
Hikikomori, oh I’m so fucking boring, lament the existence of my least favourite organ
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3. |
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You always laughed at my robbie savage haircut
Laugh along to hide embarrassment
Claw at the back of photos
Dates and names from forgotten time zones
Head rest upon your leg for hours on end
Nearly fell asleep whilst you were writing again
Said I love you or whatever
You thought I was a bore, you were so right baby
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4. |
ciswhitenoise
02:35
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I was a stupid more sexist boy, back when my thoughts were consumed by things I don’t enjoy
my head filled up with smoke, surpass the point that preference spoke, till you’re choking on my fingers, disappointment lingers
between these cold feet, that barely even meet.
I am a stupid and senseless boy, all my words to be consumed by someone else’s voice
You said I had something to say, worth putting on a page, or writing in a song, wherever they belong
But does my voice drown out someone more worthy than I?
Coming down in a gender neutral toilet
Spent my life occupying places that I shouldn’t
Let's talk about all my white boy bullshit
I’ll say I hate myself and boredom is a privilege
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5. |
body posi blues
02:09
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spent so much time alone in my room human contact no longer does the things that it should do
so im sat on the edge of your bed, hoping to be swallowed by your duvet
later on watch my self-worth drain away, down the sink hole in the shower tray, with the chemicals that cleanse me of my shame.
get out the shower, turn the shaving mirror on it's side so i can hide from my reflection.
stare down at my body, to my stomach where muscle should be my gut is so soft you can punch right through, pull out my heart and tear it in two.
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6. |
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You sent me a text to check that I hadn’t fucked up my life just yet
but I could barely muster a response
My tired fingers type the only thing that’s on my mind
“How could you just leave me out like this?”
Cos I just wanna see what it was you saw in me
Cos I can’t see anything
Not a single stupid redeemer of the landscape of my face
Just the contours on my skin and the black spots in my brain
Just the worthless selfish whining of some kid stuck inside his bedroom
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